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Ask Ace Attorney Essay Typer

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Warning! This blog contains spoilers from the Ace Attorney series. Follow at your own risk! Write the Ace Attorney character of your choice a letter and get one in return!

Click here to write a letter!

Please be aware that the queue is long and it could be months before your letter is answered.

*Submission Guidelines*We reserve the right to delete any messages submitted to this blog if we feel them inappropriate or they do not meet the submission guidelines to the Mods' standards.

- No messages to Dai Gyakuten Saiban will be accepted.

- Letters to characters of various time periods (example: college Phoenix or Phoenix of the Apollo Justice arc) will be accepted. Please specify which character you are writing to in your letter. This includes 9-year-old Phoenix, Edgeworth and Larry.

- Letters to a character who did not appear in the specified era (AJ Maya, JFA Athena, DD Ema, etc.) will not be accepted.

- You may address one character per message.

- Do not repeatedly ask the same question to multiple characters. Pick one or two. Otherwise the series of letters will be considered spam.

- All messages must be in a letter format. No roleplaying: Imagine you are writing a letter on paper. Roleplaying messages will be deleted.

- We will not be accepting messages concerning the Professor Layton series, the Ace Attorney movie, or the Ace Attorney manga.

- If we can't understand your letter, it will be deleted. Please be as clear as you can.

- Letters regarding Phoenix's, Maya's, or any other Ace Attorney character's role in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 are fine but regard answers as non-canon... unless you really do think Phoenix was fist fighting monsters and superheroes.

- Letters regarding Professor Layton vs. Ace Attorney are accepted unless addressed to Professor Layton characters or regard the non-canon bonus episodes.

- Letters regarding Project x Zone 2 are accepted, but only when addressed to Phoenix, Maya, or Edgeworth.

You can read these in more depth on the submissions guidelines page. It is encouraged you do so.

The old Ask Ace Attorney is gone now. Please place your hat over your heart and reflect in a moment of silence.

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Please note that there may be a considerable delay between submission and answer. There are a lot of people writing in and all letters are answered in order.

//This is a collaboration post between me and Victor. We both did an equal amount of work, (probably not the case) when making this blog.//

Disclaimer

//There’s gonna be ship bashing…...like A LOT of ship bashing throughout this blog. Keep that in mind when reading, justa little warning before attacking your favourite ships. A lot of it is exaggerated and more so for the purpose of comedy. So take this blog with a grain of salt. We seriously can’t stress this enough for the love of god don’t take this blog seriously. Oh and no this blog is not saying that if you ship any of these you’re wrong we’re just saying we don’t get it if you do (unless stated otherwise or if you ship trucy x machi)//

Ships, almost every fandom has them. For some reason people like to pair up some random person with another because memes and yaoi. While we can still grasp that with some characters we start to doubt the fanbase when they ship two characters who have never met *cough* krisahlia *cough* . Or if they continue to ship characters even though the creator(s) disproved the ship *cough* narumayoi *cough*. Oh and the incest ships are just really really wrong *cough Trupollo *cough*. There is a huge difference between being friends and being friends with benefits *cough* Klapollo *cough* *cough* Narumitsu * cough*. We all know that the Gavin brothers wanted to have an intimate relationship…...wait that didn’t happen in Apollo Justice, oh sorry I was playing Apollo Justass: Ass Attorney again.

Shippers think it’s okay to constantly spin the wheel and see who to pair Apollo with someone he talked to once or with someone he didn’t even talk to at all.

Why don’t we make a ship with I dunno…….Wendy Oldbag X Sister Bikini

Go on you guys make Rule 34 out of that.

We’re not going to deny that there are any good ships, for example Miego (Mia X Diego)

Wanna know what made it so good?

It’s simple they were actually established as couples within Trials and Tribulations. Not only that they had actual chemistry, and no I’m not talking about the shit ema does.

So some people might be saying “but there are lots of characters who have chemistry like Phoenix and Edgeworth”

To that we say:”Bullshit!” we’re sorry we mean “Please give me evidence”

If there’s any point where Phoenix says to Edgeworth “Let’s make out” then you win and we’ll ship Narumitsu “but munsi & victor the voice actors kissed”

yes the “VA’S” kissed not the characters, the VA’s are not the living embodiment of their characters.

“Evidence is everything in the court of law” so give genuine evidence

BESIDES PHOENIX DRIVE AND APOLLO JUSTASS.

When you prove us wrong in the comments we will delete this blog. But that’s never happening any time soon.

Let’s talk about the problems with ships individually

First, Naromayoi is creepy and to disprove this ship here’s a quote from Shu Takumi:

“It’s true that when we started with Gyakuten Saiban we didn’t really expect people to ship any of the characters together. In fact I don’t think we tried to make any characters shippable with the obvious exception of Naruhodō Ryūichi [Phoenix Wright] and Ayasato Mayoi [Maya Fey]. From the get go that was sort of…I want to say the couple that while not canon, that we expected people to “ship” the most.”

this is his stance on Phoenix x maya oh and yes you can comment this quote in the comments he said in the same interview:

Q: Will you ever make a shipping canon?

“Maybe in the future…? [Laughs]. But seriously I can’t see it happening…

Q: If you were going to what shipping would you use?

“Probably the one we intended to be hinted out in the games. Naruhodō [Phoenix] and Mayoi [Maya].”

Note that the question was if you were and how takumi said just before that “But seriously I can’t see it happening…”

Second Narumitsu. We have no clue why this exists. They’re just friends guys just ask Shu Takumi

“It’s true that when we started with Gyakuten Saiban we didn’t really expect people to ship any of the characters together. In fact I don’t think we tried to make any characters shippable with the obvious exception of Naruhodō Ryūichi [Phoenix Wright] and Ayasato Mayoi [Maya Fey]. From the get go that was sort of…I want to say the couple that while not canon, that we expected people to “ship” the most.”

HE JUST CALLED ALL OF YOU CREEPY. Isn’t he great? Oh and don’t say in the comments Shu Takumi said Phoenix thought Edgeworth was “A cute guy” because I can say my youngest brother is cute THAT DOES NOT MAKE ME WANT TO DO HIM.

Note, how we have something that the Phoenix Wright games constantly refer to as “Evidence”. We proved the ship is not canon with genuine evidence.

So now that we got the most popular ships out of the way let’s talk about two other ships we’re just gonna say one thing on Apollo x Trucy and Klavier x Kristoph,

IT’S INCEST

And don’t say “incest is wincest” or something along those lines because we know for a fact you wouldn’t wanna have sex your parents or siblings. “But Victor said “Incest, incest is the best put your sister to the test”. Yes, Victor did say that, it was a joke.

Joke:

“a thing that someone says to cause amusement or laughter, especially a story with a funny punchline.”

Then we have Phoenix x Iris, although there is evidence in the games for them having feelings towards each other (even having a relationship in the past) we don’t think they’re gonna date because they’re just a bit too emotionally hurt for that. But yes this is like one of the few ships you can back up with evidence.

Ship Number 5 Mia x Phoenix. First of all she’s dead so that’s necrophilia, secondly, it’s a child channelling her so that’s pedophilia. Also if a member of the Fey clan is channeling doesn’t that also make it incest. “But Victor & Munsi what about before she died?” Oh you mean when she had actual personality? Well first of all have fun dating her while Diego is guarding her “What about after Diego gets poisoned?” Ah yes that corpse is very sexy.

Numero 6: Kayworth. People actually ship this?

Why is this shipped? We genuinely wanna know please. “uhm gosh Munsi & Victor don’t you know? Kay is Edgeworth’s investigation partner that’s why I ship them” Yeah just like you ship Gumshoe and Edgeworth. Oh god that’s an actual thing. Let’s use this to segway on to our next ship.

Number 7 Gumshoe x Edgeworth. Why? Gumshoe obviously shows no romantic interest in Edgeworth whatsoever. He obviously has a huuuuuge crush on maggey which is incredibly obvious. If Gumshoe really had a romantic interest in Edgeworth we’d know

Number 8 Gumshoe x Franziska. …. seriously? See nr 7 but replace Edgeworth with Franziska.

Number 9 Franziska x Phoenix. Are we seriously delving into 50 shades of grey territory? I thought the fanbase was better than this. Haha but Munsi this is the same fanbase that made a Hentai game where Phoenix has sex mia who’s channeling Franziska for some reason? Let’s ignore Phoenix drive for now……..If you use Phoenix Drive as evidence you’re a sad human being. “But Munsi & Victor …. uhm … uuuuuhm…… BDSM is hot?”

Then get a blu ray of Catwoman and enjoy. While you’re at it why not also pick up the game released on Gamecube, PS2 and Xbox and PC.

Number 9 Juniper x Athena. Uhm just like with Gumshoe Juniper obviously has a huge crush on someone. In this case Apollo. That’s all we’re gonna say

Number 10 Apollo x Clay. Clay is dead

Next shi…………………..

Ok Lemme add more detail THEY’RE FRIENDS NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS (Well ok there is technically less since he is dead and there’s technically even less because on the personality meter Clay scored a whopping -1)

Number 11 So another ship according to Reddit is Trucy x Machi? Wait what. They don’t even speak the same language. There are better ships in a brothel.

Number 12 Ema x the World. Why are there so many damn Ema ships?

Theres:

Nahyuta X Ema

Klavier X Ema

Edgeworth X Ema

I’m sure there’s even my Pet dog X Ema

Each of these ships are just as dumb as each other. Nahyuta X Ema I’m convinced Nahyuta neither has a dick nor a vagina. I mean just look at him/her/it (Gotta appeal to the tumblrs). Do you really think he ever wants to have sex?

Klavier X Ema is just as dumb considering Ema hates Klavier

Edgeworth X Ema they had about maybe 10 minutes of interaction in Rise From the Ashes. And that’s i……….Wait she was in Ace Attorney investigations and she played a very important role towards the story. Nah wait that’s a lie she didn’t do anything. “But Munsi & Victor don’t you remember Ema is a huge fangirl of Edgeworth?”

Are you expecting Justin Bieber to do each and every one of his belieb……..never mind he probably would. Better analogy do you really expect Some Call Me Johnny and Munsi to start having a relationship? Or how about Victor and spike Chunsoft? Hey hey now, I’m not beginning that relationship after ZTD. It’s kinda like finding out your crush has a sex dungeon after that you’re kinda “okay let’s back off while I can” wait weren’t we talking about ships?

Hmm what big ships have we ignored? How about the one with the chat to it? We’re going there aren’t we? Yes we’re talking of course about:

Gantgarde……...no wait that’s from the greatest fic of all time

Of course we’re talking about Klapollo. Now before we continue we’d like to release our will. Munsi’s lenny collection will be given to Raven and Moriss. While Munsi & Victor’s quote posts will be given to the Lost Topic Podcast. With that out of the way:

I don’t get it why?

Why do so many rank this as their OTP? Oh yeah btw to all of the shippers out there OTP stands for ONE True Pairing that means you can only have one in a series.

I’ve said this plenty of times but just because Klavier doesn’t have a dickish personality (like that ever stopped anyone from shipping) doesn’t mean he wants the actual dick of Apollo.

UHHHH….I literally have nothing else I’ve established the same thing over and over

I mean what’s the difference it’s another dumb ship

There’s a shit ton of yaoi for it, but that’s not my thing anyway…….There’s no evidence to prove it’s real

……………….I seriously got nothing.

uhm next ship Cykesquill? I guess that’s pretty popular. It’s not the worst thing in the world but still, this is most likely based on the UR-1 incident if that was the case. Are you implying Blackquill had sentimental feelings towards Athena when she was 11 years old? “But Munsi & Victor age is but a number” yeah try saying that in court.

Ship number 15 Munstor… wait how did that get in here?

The real ship number 15 is Apollo x Phoenix. N-no just whyyyy??? Maybe people think that dating your mentor is hot? If that’s the case I really want some people to just burn their copy of Karate Kid. Just like Mia x Phoenix this ship is just really wrong. Well at least Apollo doesn’t have lust for a dead body. True. But eh just like we mentioned many time before. When the hell did they ever show any romantic interest in each other? And no Apollo Just-Ass isn’t good evidence.

And the last ship in this blog is actually a collection of ships who I can all summarise with “They never even met” there are many you can put in this category let’s name a few shall we? In rhyme.

http://www.nanatsuyoru.net/aceattorney/generator/

Vera Misham x Robin. Although they both make art, art this ship is not

Viola Cadaverini x Bonny Defamme. Okay I’m not gonna lie this ship is kinda hot

Kristoph x Dahlia. Both are absolutely psychotic

Darklaw x Viola. This ship is kinda gothic

Hotti x Pearls. This is really pedophilic

Polly x Missile. This is just imbecilic

Franziska x Aura. Hehe BDSM

Hotti x Brushel. This ship’s a fucking Gem

Florent L’Belle X Jean Armstrong. Both very French

Sal Manella X Bucky Whet. That’s gonna cause a foul stench

Regina x Jinxie. What are you smoking?

Gant x Engarde. haha you’re just joking

To conclude. You’re probably either thinking “ha this was great” or more likely “where’s the dislike button?”. Overall what we tried to say is we think most ships are dumb (overly exaggerated of course). We gave our reasons why and you have all the right and freedom to disagree. Why don’t you just type in the comments why you disagree. Also a fanfiction is not a justifiable reason to ship someone seeing as it isn’t really official. Oh and we’re not saying you shouldn’t ship these ships or that we think you’re stupid for thinking that (except for ships like trucy x machi). Also if you’re commenting “you ruined ships for me” I highly doubt that. If we did “ruin” a ship for you maybe just maybe deep down you never really shipped it. Maybe there was a tiny voice saying “hey maybe I don’t like this ship” and you heavily suppressed it and it just broke free because of this blog.

We’re seeing your hate comment you’re about to type and it’s gonna be something I will enjoy laughing at. Hopefully, you’re mature enough to realise we’re mostly being satirical (“MOSTLY”) and that not everything has to trigger you worse than a tumblr feminist.

If you enjoy your ship, continue to do so. However, we have our opinions we’d like to share and that’s the intent of this blog.

Anyway….uhh...that’s the end I guess

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